Monday, October 17, 2016

Living with Chronic Illness: Sometimes I Get Tired

Just wanted to make a disclaimer that this is NOT a motivational Monday Saying.


I hope everyone has had a good weekend. For me, this was the first weekend in one year where I did nothing. And it was awesome. As of October 1st, I quit working in the emergency room 3:30pm - midnight for the last year taking only 3 days off. A schedule like this throws your whole sleep and energy schedule out of whack, especially when you do this 1x/week on top of a traditional 9-5. And this year, I had countless all-nighters studying for two board exams. This has been an exhausting year.

I feel like my body is still catching up on a year's worth of missed sleep. I still feel really tired and out of it all the time.

In the last few weeks, it's been difficult for me to take my medication. I've mentioned this several times in the past, but for all my new readers out there, I have an autoimmune disease called Lupus. It's a disease in which my immune system is attacking the good and bad cells of my body causing me to get sick. Fortunately, my Lupus has been controlled and mild-moderate since my diagnosis in 2010. For more on that history, you can read my My Lupus Story and interestingly how Lupus affected my hair here.

I don't know if it's just that I've been tired lately and catching up on sleep or if I'm just really getting tired of taking multiple vitamins and medication each night. For those who have to take multiple pills for whatever reason can probably relate.

There have been some nights where I am just too lazy to take them. It's a lot to take. On lazy nights, I usually can summon up the energy to at least take my actual Lupus medication. I know that's bad. And hypocritical as I work in the medical field preaching med compliance. Agh. I am only human. 

I was too lazy to arrange my pill bottles "blog-worthy" so here's a sneak peak into my life. I have only one prescribed medication which generically is called Plaquenil. The rest are over the counter but a must take as my Lupus has made me deficient in others areas. The aspirin is for prevention of blood clots. There are two bottles of the same thing as one is almost empty.

I summoned the energy to prepare my daily dose of the night. Just looking at it makes me want to gag. 

I know that may not be much to others who are really suffering out there. 

There are just days when I have bad days. And lately, I have been having bad days in which I hate having to swallow all these pills and the mere thought of having to do so sickens me. Looking at it sickens me. Having to open each bottle and taking one out sickens me. 

Ugh. I know I shouldn't complain. There are others far worse than I am.

I am blessed and as healthy as I could be given my circumstance.

Life is what it is, but you know what, sometimes living with a chronic illness can get tiring too.

Cheers as I am about to take my concoction to keep me going.


P.S. Sorry this was a depressing post but I am only human.

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