Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Real Talk: Getting My Life Back!

Why hello everyone!

This past weekend, I put in my two weeks notice for my per diem job.

For those of you who don't know, I work a medical social worker in an emergency room on Saturday nights from 3:30pm - midnight. I have been doing this for the past year and have really really enjoyed the work despite the chaos, stress and pressure. My ER night shift team has been tremendously awesome and I will sincerely miss them dearly, especially the ones I have worked closely with and have gotten to know beyond a professional level. 

Working 6 days a week was fine in the beginning and even up until the 7th month. I had a routine in which Saturday mornings I would pretty much lay in bed until 12noon trying not to consume energy in order to prepare for my 8 hour night shift. Sundays were my zombie days in which I just lay in bed all day and watched LMN. Life was fine, life was grand. 

The only problem was that I wasn't living life. I was just working and then after work became a couch potato. I missed out on social events and milestones because I worked or was too tired to function. 

By month 8/9, my body started to slow down and let me know it was getting tired. Working 6 days/week is hard, but when one of those shifts is until midnight, it throws your whole body out of whack.

I am an early riser 99% of the time. Waking up at 9am to me is pretty rebellious for my internal alarm clock. 

When I came home from work, I would not sleep until at least 2am and there were times where I would sleep around 3am-4am. And so I blamed it on the coffee and for a month did not have coffee before or during work. Coffee wasn't the culprit. I was still up til the wee hours of the morning.

Then I realized it was just my mind and my body. I was still too overly stimulated from my workplace (which, mind you, is very fast-paced and stressful, yet thrilling) to just knock out when my head hit the pillow. 

I asked the nurses who have overnight shifts workings 7pm-7am if they went to bed right away. They all said no. They all said it took them 2-3 hours to fall asleep.

I realized our bodies just need to unwind after a shift. It didn't help that I was an early riser. So if I went to bed at 2-4am, I was still waking up at 7/7:30am..

By the 8th month, my body was exhausted and it would take forever to recover. I felt normal again by Wednesday, but come Saturday, my life would spiral back into exhaustion.

This isn't healthy for anyone, but it definitely was not healthy for someone like me who has lupus.

I was so exhausted that I would get headaches. I would just be so tired, my exhaustion started to impair my Monday - Friday job. 

I couldn't concentrate. I was always tired. I couldn't focus. I was forgetting things. 

I was looking forward to quitting my per diem job as much as I enjoyed it. My M-F job mattered more because it was my fulltime job that provided benefits.

I tried to last until the end of the year, but my body was telling me no, it's not strong enough. I decided to listen to my body.

My last day is October 1st. I chose October so that on my resume it shows that I have been there from October 2015 - October 2016.

I am so excited to get my weekends back, my health back, and my life back.

I get to see milestones and be a part of them. I won't be missing out anymore.


It really feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Cheers to getting my life back!


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