My Edgy Alter Ego

{WARNING: RANDOM BABBLE..this may or may not make sense}

My parents are shy and so thus I spent most of my life being shy. It was not until around the end of graduate school (2012) that I started to really be more confident in my own skin in all respects: fashion, beauty, speaking up for myself, etc. Perhaps, a big part of being confident was getting older. At 28, I feel more and more comfortable in my skin each day.

There is just one aspect of myself that I have kept under the radar: my internal edgy alter ego.

As funky as this sounds, I'm an internally edgy person trapped in a mainstream goody two shoe body.

My parents were never ones to support taking risks in being bold and being different. The mainstream was the only stream.They were also quite conservative so it was probably a mix of both. 

I've always wanted to unleash the edgier me. It's slowly happening, but at the same time, I feel like I'm getting too "old" for the edgy look. And in my line of work, it will not fly. 

See below for pictures that I feel are the me I would've loved to express a few years ago (and I'm not gonna lie, I wish I could still pull these looks off today).

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the photos below unless specified. Photos grabbed from Instagram.

This is so gorgeous. I love it!!

This would have been fun too

I contemplated this color at one point

One of my favorites! I've been loving the pin-up look lately. I love her makeup too!

 This is YouTube's saaammage. I took this off her Instagram.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE her hair (this is an old picture by the way). 

This is the most doable hairdo I can pull off at work...I think.

I wanted to cut my hair this way when I cut it recently but my bangs were too short. Maybe one day...

All photos below are mine: 

Me in 2009. Okay, okay so I did pull an edgy 'do. Color is called Vampire Red. This was definitely the first step! 

Ever since then, my hair has [mostly] never been one color.

I express myself with my hair because somehow it is easier for me to do that than clothes.

How I would describe my attempted style: boho, feminine dark/grunge, very black-white-red. 

My recent attempts of unleashing the edgy girl inside me:

Awkward photo of me. LOL

I sneaked into my brother's room to take this. Excuse the stars to cover his mess. x_X

 Another awkward photo of me. -_-

My college roommate and sorority sister said I was the queen of not matching. 

My current style of the moment (in congruence with Fall trends): Funky leggings, booties, and a long shirt to cover my bum and then makeup wise - a dark lip

As you can see, I do love my funky leggings!! :D

If you made it this far, props to you for reading another installment of my random babble. 

<3<3<3

Im Cabaret, Au Cabaret, To Cabaret!

Last Saturday, I watched a live showing of my favorite musical ever - CABARET! 

My English teacher in high school was very theatrical. I am so thankful she introduced the 1972 movie version with Liza Minnelli to us. I fell in love and it's been one of most favorite productions of anything of all time!! 

If you like musicals, Cabaret is definitely one to check out if you haven't heard of it already. Don't be fooled though. Musicals typically sound "happy." This is a dark musical but with many lessons to be learned!

It takes place in Berlin right before the Nazis come to power. It highlights social and political issues that still parallel today's societal issues. I am not going to give a full synopsis of the film or preach about social issues. I'm not trying to make a political or social statement.

In a nutshell, it is a drama of love, lust, passion, political and social dismay, avoiding reality, change and acceptance.

The movie is amazing, but seeing it live in front of me was 10x more absolutely amazing. Still, no one (in my book) can beat out the voices of Liza Minnelli and Joel Grey, but the live cast is still very talented. Their voices were powerful. Their acting moving. I got goosebumps on several occasions and even teared up a few times. 

GAHHH...Pardon me, I'm totally gushing. I just really really really love this musical if I haven't made it clear already. I love it so much I am seeing it again in two weeks and possibly a third time. Obsessed, I know. I just really adore talent and a classic!

WHAT I WORE:

I apologize. This is a very sloppy "What I Wore" as I just didn't have much time to take better photos. I took this while waiting for my curling iron to heat up.

Cabaret is very out there in fashion. At least for the women, it's flashy, it's raunchy, it's edgy, it's gaudy. After all, it is a cabaret. When I think of Cabaret, I think of the color schemes black, white and red which is what I went for.

Let's use our imagination!

I wore these black and white vertically striped leggings with a black floral print. I wore a black short sleeved peplum top. My shoes of choice were black booties with a small heel. 

As for hair, I had it curly and big (which deflated in about an hour, lol). My eyes were a dramatic black wing with heavy mascara. And lastly, I wore a bright red lip.

Black red nails inspired from a picture I saw on Pinterest. It never looks like the picture! :( Close enough, I suppose.

My friend and I dressed in the spirit of Cabaret. We walked in only to stick out like a fish out of water. We were the youngest ones there (everyone else was a lot older - like gray-haired older - and in casual clothes). Compared to these folks, my friend and I looked like we really belonged to the Cabaret.

Oh well, I guess I shall consider myself an old soul.

Enjoy

<3<3<3

Nails of the Week(s): Mini Gallery

Lately, I've felt as though I've been losing my mojo in doing my nails. I'm running out of ideas and haven't been inspired by any nails posts that I've seen. Still, life must carry on and I cannot leave my nails bare during the week so I do my nails anyway.

Below are my nails that I thought were picture worthy:

 Here are my most recent nail design and the design that I currently have on as I type this (hey hey!). On my left hand: Royal blue with a silver dot in the center to resemble a stone. It happened to match my blouse at work :D  Right hand: Mermaid green, pearl white accent with a rosary. I was not having a good week and wanted to wear my "faith" close to me

 I saw this design on Pinterest. I used a nail art pen which made mimicking the fade of the model brush stroke impossible. Then I have just simple flowers on my left.

I am actually quite proud of this one. I mixed a dark taupe brown with white to get a lighter taupe. I used a toothpick to pile on the dots.

I hope this shows you that you don't have to be amazing at doing your nails. Practice makes it easier. But at the end of the day, if doing your nails makes you happy, do itttttttt

<3<3<3

Nails of the Week: Pinspired Spots

I am sure I mentioned this in previous blog posts, but I will say it again and again. 

I LOVE doing my nails. Like LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE.

It's so relaxing, definitely a form of self-care. 

My nails of the week is "Pinspired." It comes from an image I saw on Pinterest (which is in the top left corner). I love it.

Products used:
Base coat: Revlon Multi care Base + Top Coat
Wet n Wild: 201C Wet Cement
Sinful Colors: 300 Easy going

I mixed the Wet Cement and Easy Going to obtain a grayish brown color.  I wanted a Fall color, but did not want to go as dark as the Wet Cement on its own. Wet Cement is a beautiful color independently, but I wanted something softer and daintier. 

I can't emphasize that I LOVE doing my nails. I'm always interested in designs to mimic and be inspired by.

Please share links of your own artwork! I would love to see them!

<3<3<3