Sunday, July 12, 2015

Real Talk: In A Rut

I've been in such a funk in the past year, more so in the past few months. I have not been feeling good about myself. My home life is a mess. My health has hit some road bumps. I found myself surrounded by negativity and got stuck in it. I've eaten up my sorrows and gained weight that made my clothes fit a little tighter making me feel more insecure about myself. It is as an awful, vicious cycle that we all go through.

I feel lost. I feel like I have lost a sense of self. I am angry and irritable all the time. I sleep early to not be awake. These ruts that come and go are normal I suppose, but it really does not feel good.

Last week, I decided to take charge and do something about it. 

This rut, this funk has to end! I've been feeling sucky for too long. No more drowning in my sorrows. I AM STRONGER THAN THAT.

I am slowly taking steps in getting reacquainted with who I am and fixing the brokenness I feel inside. 

I've started to detach myself from negative people. Negativity and pessimism are highly contagious when you're feeling weak. I've started to open up (very very slightly!) to my mom and tell her that her actions are destroying the family instead of bringing us together. I am telling myself that ruts are temporary. I've been in them before. There is no reason why I cannot get out of this one. 

Instead of parking close, I park further away (if it's safe) to get my body moving. I bought a Groupon for 10 Liberation Yoga classes. I read about it before I made the purchase and it made my eyes water. I hope it gives me the inner and outter peace I am seeking.

From their website, just a few points that stood out to me:
  • HEALTH soundness, especially of body or mind freedom from physical or mental disease or pain, a condition of well being 
  • PEACE inner contentment, serenity; peace of mind the absence of war or other hostilities
  •  FREEDOM the condition of being free from constraints, exemption from an unpleasant or onerous condition, ease of facility of movement 
 As bloggers, we tend to highlight the happy and the beauty. We sometimes forget that behind the computer screen can be a person who is suffering, who is hurting. A person who is human and experiences happy moments and sad moments. 

Here's to my journey ahead of reacquainting myself with myself (as funny as it sounds). I am looking forward to finding myself again and finding my happiness. 

And with that, I will leave you with one of my most favorite quotes. I am not sure where it originated from, but I heard this line in the film My Big Fat Greek Wedding:

"It is the character that is the strongest that God gives the most challenges to...And take that as a compliment."


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